Now I wish more than anything we were still talking. Before and during our relationship I didn't have the slightest interest in JW beliefs or what went on; as I said she kept it pretty much to herself (until "the day"), so I never bothered to look into it. The last thing I'd ever do was join the JWs, but now that I have a basic understanding of some of their beliefs, I'd love to call her up and talk about it at least.. might be kinda fun as she's pretty open minded, usually. Maybe I'll give her a few weeks to chill out, then call her up "as friends". The past two weeks have been really bad.. I haven't been this depressed since I was in high school. Thanks to some research and reading on here I feel a lot better, so maybe once I lose the emotional attachment, we can talk as friends.
Mello Yellow
JoinedPosts by Mello Yellow
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21
Can I date a JW
by Mello Yellow inthis is troubling me.
i started dating a girl and the relationship lasted for a little while.
she then broke things off claiming she was in violation of her beliefs, the jw this and that, and how she'd "lose everything" if she was caught dating me.
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21
Can I date a JW
by Mello Yellow inthis is troubling me.
i started dating a girl and the relationship lasted for a little while.
she then broke things off claiming she was in violation of her beliefs, the jw this and that, and how she'd "lose everything" if she was caught dating me.
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Mello Yellow
"if she is so worried about getting into touble with you, why is she hanging out with her disfellowshipped mother and brother? In my town, that is a big no-no also. She'd definitely be getting a "shepherding" call for that one. And she'd be marked."
Good question, I was wondering that myself. Her mom has some serious health issues, so perhaps that's her excuse, or how she rationalizes it. That or she knows there's not as much risk hanging out at home with mom, versus being "caught" in public making out at the movie theater with me.
Thanks for all the replies. I see a common theme here, now it's just a matter of me getting over her!
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21
Can I date a JW
by Mello Yellow inthis is troubling me.
i started dating a girl and the relationship lasted for a little while.
she then broke things off claiming she was in violation of her beliefs, the jw this and that, and how she'd "lose everything" if she was caught dating me.
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Mello Yellow
Good points. Maybe I just don't get how all these friends are really "friends", when she never sees them outside of meetings and JW related stuff. Her family isn't JW anymore.. I've met her parents and am friends with her brother (that's how I met her). They really don't care at all about JW.
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21
Can I date a JW
by Mello Yellow inthis is troubling me.
i started dating a girl and the relationship lasted for a little while.
she then broke things off claiming she was in violation of her beliefs, the jw this and that, and how she'd "lose everything" if she was caught dating me.
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Mello Yellow
No offense taken.. trust me, the "smart" people in my life (good friends, mom etc) have told me not to even bother. I'm pretty easy to convince that just about anything is a good idea.. that's my fault I suppose. Reading stories of guys/girls who have left and lived happily ever after are common and maybe that's what's keeping me going. Thanks for advice, it's noted for the record. ;)
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21
Can I date a JW
by Mello Yellow inthis is troubling me.
i started dating a girl and the relationship lasted for a little while.
she then broke things off claiming she was in violation of her beliefs, the jw this and that, and how she'd "lose everything" if she was caught dating me.
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Mello Yellow
Thanks for all the replies! Quick replies at that. What boggles my mind is that she has all these "friends" that will be cut off, yet I haven't ever seen her with one of her "friends" (JWs) except at the meetings. Well, I haven't seen her at meetings (obviously), just heard all about them. Her family (mom and brother), which she spends A LOT of time with, has been disfellowshipped. Her dad isn't a JW. Likewise her co-workers aren't JW.
They claim their religion is the only true one, hence the reason they can only date other JWs. Correct? Well I don't have a religion.. she can have JW all she wants, as long as I can have my baseball games! She was great at drawing a line between her studies and our relationship. Seems reasonable to me..
It would be worth it for me to get into whatever mess is needed to make this possible.. Not quite sure if it's worth it to her, but one minute we were both on top of the world - talking on the phone, hanging out, having fun. 24 hours later it was a complete reversal. Last thing I'd ever want to do is call her brainwashed, but something got on her mind that made her stop. And without being too proud of myself, I'd like to think she felt bad/regret about the situation.
Currently we aren't even talking. I've been pretty much cut off, but I'm trying to decide if it's worth it to pursue this further. I don't know anything about religion and if I brought it up, she'd shut me down quick I'm sure. Thanks for the help!
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21
Can I date a JW
by Mello Yellow inthis is troubling me.
i started dating a girl and the relationship lasted for a little while.
she then broke things off claiming she was in violation of her beliefs, the jw this and that, and how she'd "lose everything" if she was caught dating me.
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Mello Yellow
This is troubling me. I started dating a girl and the relationship lasted for a little while. She then broke things off claiming she was in violation of her beliefs, the JW this and that, and how she'd "lose everything" if she was caught dating me. Not her exact words, but more or less. She's JW, I'm not. She told me on day #1 that she was JW and while it sparked some curiosity, it didn't register in my head as I'm not a religious person. Nothing personal, I just haven't had much interest in religion, any religion for that matter, in my life.
I have heard that "outsiders" can bring in (to a JW) bad habits and teach bad morals, but she's 27 years old.. in my opinion, old enough to make her own choices and decisions. Same reason I stay away from drugs, crime, drinking etc. Likewise I've NEVER questioned her religion or encouraged practices that go against her religion. ie. Getting drunk, premarital sex, gambling etc. I have expressed interest in learning about JW and I even "study" it when I have time to get a better understanding of her life. Not necessarily joining it, but just trying to get a better understanding. It's her life and I felt the need to understand it better.
So how strict is it within the JWs? Is it really automatic disfellowship if one is caught dating a non-JW; whether it's hanging out at a Pizza joint or on a romantic date? Where is the line drawn, as it's nearly impossible for a JW to avoid interaction with a non-JW on a daily basis.